Coming out of the closet

For me, the highlight of every year is when the boys of fall come out to play. As the college football bowl season approaches, I'm always filled with a mixture of excitement and dread. Excitement because of the upcoming bowl games and dread that the football season is almost over.

Everyone who knows me is aware  that I don't work on Saturday during football season. I don't go anywhere or talk on the phone. DO NOT mess with my football day.

It hasn't always been that way. Growing up in Eureka Springs, Arkansas meant you loved basketball and knew NOTHING about football. They always claimed it was because there was no place flat enough to build a football field.

One day somewhere around 1968, a football game came on tv. I became curious enough to watch. Then I started watching lots of football. My then-husband walked in one day, kinda sneered at me and said "What are you watching!" I just kinda shrugged and replied with some drivel about not knowing, just whatever's on, not paying attention, and so on. That's the day I became a closet football fan.

My mother knew I was interested so in 1969 she came up with a pair of tickets to the Arkansas vs. Texas Longhorns game for our anniversary.  Then-husband refused to go, so I took my dad. That game was dubbed the "Game of the Century". President Nixon, Billy Graham, Senator George H. Bush, Gov. Rockefeller and other dignitaries too numerous to mention, attended. Marine One delivered Nixon on the practice field next to the stadium in Fayetteville. It was snowing and sleeting and I just didn't care. I had a bloody good anniversary that year.

Then a few years later, during the Sugar Bowl game between Arkansas and Alabama, I tripped right out of the football closet and fell completely in love with Alabama coach Paul "Bear" Bryant and with Arkansas coach Lou Holz. No problems there. They were in different leagues until Arkansas joined the SEC years later. Now I'm torn between the two loves of my life, the Razorbacks and the Crimson Tide of Alabama.  WHEEE! It's almost college football season!

Not to be outdone by Yogi Berra, Lou Holz once remarked about a player, "He just had shoulder surgery on his elbow."

Nothing funny? Twist it, sister!

Why in the world would anyone commit to blogging? In my case, I've always worked in high adrenaline-producing jobs. Oh yeah, law enforcement, private investigation, busting pedophiles.

So what's changed? Now I'm sitting home, talking to my ex-husband. That's correct. My EX-husband has frontal lobe variant altzerheimer's disease.Well wouldn't you just know....the infamous Murphy, of Murphy's law, couldn't just slap my ex-husband with one type of dementia. Noooo! He had to get two types. Kinda like a horse race to see which one crosses the finish line first.

Reader's will now conclude that I'm a hard-hearted bitch. Not true. Not completely anyway. I'm not hard-hearted. I'm just in a situation where I'm talking to myself all day with no feedback. I talk to my computer screen, which does respond periodically with "DING, DING, DING". That does funny things to a person.

I learned a number of years ago when I was writing a couple of newspaper columns, the more tired I became, the more twisted my sense of humor became. I'd write those columns when I was exhausted. I did it mostly to amuse myself. I'd sit and write, laughing so hard at myself I would almost fall out of the chair. 

Almost any situation has a funny side if you twist it just right. Since I'm going to have to live life on life's terms, I'm going to walk through it laughing.  If I can make some of you laugh, that's even better. Dry wit, sarcasm, and twisted humor is offensive to some people. And sometimes, if you get carried away, it is offensive to everyone. Too bad. If it saves my sanity and keeps my blood pressure down to a reasonable level it's here to stay. 

I have no intention of writing a depressing disease blog. I will write about whatever is currently floating my boat. Scared of controversy? Not me. So I make no promises except I will try to keep you laughing. Unless I share recipes, then you're not to laugh.

So if life has you in a situation that's trying to beat you down, look for the funny side. Just twist it sister!